MONSTERS OF COCK

EVER WONDER IF A BIGGER COCK GIVES A HPRNY GIRL MORE PLEASURE

BUSINESS VOCABULARY

Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss. You will all be measured on this at some point in your career.

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. This one will be particularly valuable to those of you who have projects going right now.

Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits all over everything then leaves. Another word for consultant.

Salmon Day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to die in the end. We’ve had these before (and will again).

Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the brass with clean hands. Nope, we do our own dirty work.

CLM: Short lingo for ‘career limiting move’. Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while she is within earshot is a serious CLM. (Related to CLB, career limiting behavior)

Adminisphere: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

Dilberted: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss (not me!). Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. “I’ve been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.”

Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

404: Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not found”, meaning that the requested document could not be located. “Don’t bother asking him…he’s 404, man.”

Ohnosecond: That miniscule fraction of time it takes to realize that you’ve just made a big mistake.

Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it working again.

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